*waves* Hey everyone! I hope your December is going smashingly and you are as excited for the 25 days of Jubilation event as I am!
Today I have a most amazing guest with us....Mrs. Clause. Now, everyone always sees Mr. Clause around, but no one ever really worries about the Mrs. So, I wanted to know how she was managing and ask her some questions because I'm a curious soul. So, I called some of my contacts and was able to manage a phone interview.
Before we get started, I want to say thank you so much to Mrs. Clause for doing this, I know it's a very busy season for her.
It’s early in the morning, the sun isn’t up yet and I am looking around my desk for the card that was mailed to me for contacting Mrs. Clause. I look everywhere and I’m kind of freaking out because I can’t find it. I go through another round of searching my cluttered desk as I’m positive that’s where I left it. Finally, I find it under the calculator just to the side of my computer screen, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t there the first time I lifted it up. I shrug my shoulders and creep out of my bedroom and into the kitchen, trying not to wake up my girls or my father-in-law, who are still asleep.
Tip toeing into the kitchen, I grab the jar of sugar from the counter and take it with me back into my office, closing the door behind me. Hubby’s already at work, so I flip on all the lights and read the directions that accompanied the card.
“Sprinkle snow with sugar to start.”
I have absolutely no idea what this means, except it's knack for alliteration, so instead I study the card to see if it makes any more sense. The square card is bigger than a business card, but smaller than a note card, most of it is crimson, but the edges are embossed with steel colored flourishes. On the front, in the center it says “Mrs. Clause”. On the back, snow is nestled at the bottom of the card, soft and quiet. That’s it. No other detail or explanation.
So, it seems I’ve found some “snow”, but I’m really not sure how dusting the card with sugar is going to do anything. Maybe they’ve set up some kind of chemical reaction and after I put the sugar on, a phone number will appear. I grab some sugar and sprinkle it on the back of the card and wait. Nothing happens. I prop the card up on my stapler and gaze at it again because it’s possible I’ve missed something.
Suddenly my cell phone rings. Glancing at the screen – because who would be calling me this early in the morning– it says “Mrs. Clause”. I find this hilarious because it’s not like I programmed her phone number into my phone, I didn’t have it. I snort a bit and hit “send”.
“Hello, this is Jen.”
“Hello dear, this is Mrs. Clause, but you may call me Kamila.” The voice is soft and sweet and almost familiar, but at the same time, not familiar, at all.
“Um. Hi, Kamila?” I say more as a question than a response.
“Hello dear, how are you doing?”
“I’m doing okay, albeit a little stunned, how are you? And, not to be rude, but how did you know to call me?”
“Well, you used the sugar on the card, didn’t you, dear?” She replies and I can hear a small smile in her voice.
“Yes, but still, I don’t get it.” I’m totally lost.
“Look at the card, dear.”
I glance over at the card and instead of the snow just sitting there; it’s soundlessly falling from the flourishes at the top of the card.
“I see.” I really don’t except that maybe the card is now possessed with the Spirit of Christmas.
“Yes, the sugar tells me that you needed to contact me and my phone already knew your number.”
“Your phone knew my number?” This interview isn’t going exactly as planned; I’ve apparently lost my mind.
“Yes, dear. It’s a lovely phone.”
“Sounds like.” I’m kind of skeptical by this point, but I’m a bookkeeper from Arizona. What do I know about Santa’s workshop? “So, Kamila, how’s your season going? It must be a fairly busy time for you.”
“It’s going as good as can be expected, I suppose. It’s busy, but I try to stay out of it as much as possible. Have you ever had to deal with several thousand elves who work for housing and food? It’s not a pretty sight, dear.
“It’s not?”
“Oh, no! But, I really do try to stay out of it, dear; too much headache for me. A thousand years of fighting elves can really bring a person down. I prefer the…..happier things in life.” She pauses slightly like she isn’t quite sure how to finish her sentence until it’s already finished. I’ve never been so curious about a pause, in my life.
“I agree, the happier things in life are definitely better than fighting elves. Not that I really know anything about fighting elves. The only fighting elves I’ve seen are from Lord of the Rings and I don’t imagine your elves are exactly the same.”
“No, not quite, dear. If our elves looked like that, I’d add them to the “happier things” in life. I wouldn’t mind having that Orlando Bloom working in my workshop. Oh, but shhhhh, don’t tell Santa that!” Mrs. Clause ruffles like she really shouldn’t have said anything and instantly I start giggling because the way she says “my workshop” sounds like she didn’t mean the toy factory.
“No worries here, Kamila, I understand exactly what you’re saying.” I stifle my giggling so as not to cause offense, but it’s harder than one would think. “Kamila, I’m uber curious, what do you consider the “happier things” in life?”
“Well, dear, I’m probably supposed to say sewing my own flying reindeer or cooking a meal for the good little boys and girls around the world, or something like that, but let’s be honest, I’m not much of a sewer and I hate cooking. I do love to bake, though. So I suppose desserts. Plus, I do an avid amount of reading.”
“I’m glad to hear that! What book are you reading right now?”
“Hmm…I can’t exactly remember the name of the book, but I’m in the middle of a vampire series with a girl who can read minds and she’s dating a vampire…ummm…” Mrs. Clause pauses shortly, “Eric Northman, yes, that’s his name. I started watching the television show a while back and thought I’d pick up the books.”
“You read the Sookie Stackhouse novels?”
“Yes, that Pam makes me chuckle and that Eric….well… he makes a woman feel young again.” Mrs. Clause sighs and again I have to stifle my laughter.
“I agree, Kamila. I just didn’t think that would be up your alley.”
“A lady has to find something to do with her time.” She replies.
“Yes, a lady really does.” How else does one respond when they find out that Mrs. Clause likes dirty, sexy vampires?
Suddenly, Mrs. Clause is silent and I hear some noises and muffled talking in the background.
“So sorry, dear, but I’m going to have to leave you to it.” She finally says into the receiver.
“That’s all right, Kamila. It’s been wonderful talking to you. I hope your season continues with “happy things” all year long.” I reply trying not to laugh.
“Thank you, Jen. I hope to be able to speak with you again in the future. It’s not often I am able to have such a lovely conversation. In thanks, I would like to give a gift to you and one to your readers.” I had thought she’d forgotten all about why we were doing this interview. Guess not. “Your gift is on your desk behind you and for your reader, one book of his or her choice as long as it’s under $12.00. And may your holiday be filled with joy and love.”
“Thank you, bye.”
“Bye, dear.”
When I turn back to my desk, there’s a plate with one piece of pistachio dessert on it and just to the right of the plate is the book I have wanted to buy for the last month. I’m speechless.
So initiates my giveaway for the jubilation! I am giving ONE book to ONE winner.
