Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I'm sure You've noticed

I'm sure as You, all my valiant and dedicated readers, have noticed, my blog writing has been MIA for almost three weeks. Well, in all honesty, I'm not exactly sure how the whole Not Writing started. I mean, I do love my blog, as it's kind of like my emotional outlet of all things that I'm Officially Not Allowed to Talk About (yes, I have a list going) around my house or other places. And yes, before you ask, I have been reading and have an immense amount of reviews of my delicate sleeves, but where oh where did the Not Writing come into the picture?

Well, being that You are, of course, my dedicated and valiant readers (like how I switched up those two words?), I'm going to give you The Full Story. Most likely, the hinting of my not writing probably began about 4 weeks ago when I was brutally rebuffed by a client I dearly liked. Not because I had some kind of working crush upon that client, but because they were a good client, a client who always paid their bill. Being that this client has been my client since 2007, you can imagine my melancholy at being rejected. (Given, that The Full Story, includes details that are indubitably not necessary, you get are going to receive even more information than maybe you wanted.)

So, even though this lovely client of so many years has told me over and over that it is not me, but a matter of being unhappy with their CPA and money, it still didn't seem to penetrate the thick skull sitting atop my fabulous alabaster shoulders. No. It's just that, I cannot stand to fail, AT ANYTHING! It's definitely one of my greatest PITA (pain in the ass), character qualities (the second being that I hate being wrong and feel that most often I'm probably not).

No matter how many times I was asked to finish out the year, or how many times I was told how wonderful I am and how they will "miss me," I still feel like I've failed. Like nothing was really worth doing because I was sure to fail at everything. Yes, I know, pretty dismal eh?

After that lovely dis to my now deprecated soul, I had to finish out the year for said client and transfer just under 4 years of my work over to someone else. It was a bit heartbreaking for me, but also, very busy. Hence, the following week(s) where my blog writing suffered.

Following the date of The Giveover, I was too dejected to really care about my non-writing. I mean, even my reading, sadly to say, suffered. I just didn't feel like it. This is really and truly sad. No, I don't think I'd go so far as to say I was that down, I just HATE TO FAIL. I can't explain it, so I won't try, but sufficeth to say, It (never wanting to fail) and chocolate ice cream are my downfalls.

Anyhow, eventually I pulled out of that funk and into a new one. One of not being really interested in reading. *gasp* Yes, I know, this is a horrific conundrum that I thought I would never cross paths with. But it happened. Lucky for me, the answer to this conundrum came in the form of a package from my dear BDF and some great messages on GR. Lyssa, my really good Wisconsinite friend sent me my Christmas/New Years/Valentines day gift and it perked me up. Made me realize that outside of my little deranged mind, things were still kicking. Plus, I had this good friend of mine from Goodreads who recommended a series to me. Not because she thought it would help me, just because she thought I'd like it.

The following couple of days proceeded as such:
  1. Put all books in Jessica Darling series on HOLD at the Library
  2. Put Anna and The French Kiss on HOLD at the Library
  3. Find adult paranormal fiction book for Kindle whilst I wait for books to be AVAILABLE at library
  4. Found Alex Craft book for Kindle
  5. Bought Alex Craft book one for Kindle
  6. Read (past tense) entire Alex Craft book in a ridiculously fast amount of time (on my Kindle)
  7. Amazingly enjoyed Alex Craft book one (on my Kindle) in ways I cannot express including falling in love with Alex and Death (dismal I already know)
  8. Thanked my lucky stars I found Alex Craft (for my Kindle)
  9. Started (and finished) the Jessica Darling book one and fell in love with J.D. and Marcus Flutie
  10. Started (and finished) Anna and the French Kiss and fell in love with Anna and St. Claire (and boarding schools in France for that matter)
  11. Started (and finished) Jessica Darling book 2 and fell in more love with J.D. and M.F.
  12. Started (Today) Jessica Darling book 3
So, as you can see, I've pulled out of my Client Funk as well as my Reading Slump. With this post, I've also (hopefully) pulled out of my Blog Post Slacking.

Now, you are all probably wondering why I felt the need to go on and on AND ON about this. I didn't do it so I would receive any kind of sympathy and the funniest part about the whole thing is that out of my family (1 Hubby, 10 siblings, 5 brother/sister-in-laws, 16(ish) neices/nephews and my 2 parentals) with whom I'm close with, only 4 people know what's happened and one is my Hubby. So, why, in all honesty, did I feel the need to blither on forever. Was it because I needed to talk, or maybe because I just wanted to write. Why??? Who the hell knows!!!

All I know is I feel better for getting it out. Which is funny because in all reality, The Full Story, wasn't that grand and You, my dedicated and valiant readers, are perfect strangers. But, still...

Thanks for listening.



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4 comments:

  1. Jen your story was very moving and indeed a bit sad but what can be done...life is life, not a bad romance book, and in real life old clients all of a sudden shout at you and say unpleasant things to you and you feel like dying because of that and you don't want to share your misery with anybody (or almost anybody) so you post it on your blog for perfect strangers (a.k.a. your vailant and dedicated readers).

    I only hope you will get over it soon. I like your blog and I've just started to follow it. Eat some chocolates and cashew - they are good for your blues. Take care. Don't worry. There's always another day.

    *hugs and kisses*

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  2. Glad to have you back! Or, if not completely back, then at least within eyesight. Hope things continue to get better.

    ~Vicki

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  3. Jen -

    I had no idea what you were going through when we were chatting few days ago.
    I'm sorry this sh** is dumped on you but hey, life goes on, right? As you have proved to us.
    Shitty things happen. *shrug* We don't seem to be able to avoid them. Some find comfort in books, some in alcohol, some in chocolat ice cream and some in shouting out the words (figuratively speaking).
    We may be strangers but sometimes it feels better to confide in strangers - don't ask me why 'cause I want an answer to that one as well.

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I always love comments, and I read every single one!

Also, this is now designated an award free zone. Although I love awards and I love everyone for thinking of me, I just don't have the time to honor them like they need to be honored. Thank you though for your consideration!

XOXO Jen the Bibliophile

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